October :)

New month, new stuff going on. I've started a blog for 8pizza (and we are having contests & giveaways all the time so check it out)! Princess is done with swimming lessons and is going to the casting class for her dance studio's annual Christmas program tomorrow. Flu shots will be complete this week (just the regular ones folks, no need to panic) and October is jam-packed with great things like:

* My friend Michelin is having her twice a year Ladies Night Out at her bookstore (which happens to be where we hold our writing group) on Saturday the 3rd from 4-7!

* Next Thursday I head off to the Northwest women's American Night Writers Association retreat at Silver Lake! And I've been asked to do a writing exercise presentation! There are still spots available, so let me know if you want to come! It's very reasonably priced and we have a great time. Changed my life last year!

* My husband gets Columbus Day off :)

* Thursday the 15th, I am hosting an Arbonne party with Nicole, with the proceeds going to the orphanage that Michelle's little girls live: Hope for Little Angels of Haiti--so please let me know if you'd like to attend or order so I can get you an invite! Michelle will be headed to Haiti to see Destina and Avrie the very next day, but said she should be able to come! Nicole has also said that any party booked from this one will be able to do the same thing--donate the proceeds to the orphanage!

Other than that, we are just busy. Princess is reading more words each day and Bear is speaking in these amazing, complete sentences. They are tall and healthy and happy, and I am grateful.

In spring there is a renewal of all things...

Including my determination to keep up with my blog :) So here's an update to get you started. Since December:

**The contest I entered on New Year's eve? I won first place and they've chosen a couple of the other submissions I sent in to publish as well. I am stunned. I am ecstatic. I am grateful. They'll be published in the Fall 2009 issue of Segullah. Segullah also invited me to join their staff as a member of the poetry board.

**I entered another poetry contest, a local one, with word coming about that next month probably. I'm not confident about it, but I loved the idea so much I had to send something in. The winners have their poem engraved on plaques and posted in a "poetry garden" on the grounds of the public library for a year and they and the honorable mentions get the poems places on the city buses!

**I entered ScriptFrenzy and am failing miserably at it so far.

**The kids are growing. The kids are amazing. Princess is getting ready to be popcorn in her spring dance recital. Bear loves to say "I'm a pirate: aarrrggghhh".

**I finally opened an actual eBay store front called 8pizza and am loving how much simpler it is to deal with than the onesie twosie stuff I have done for years! Here is the first of some very nifty promotions I'll have coming up: sign up for my store newsletter (one email every other week and the occasional spotlight email) and get $1 off your purchase! Sign up by going to my store site and finding the Store Newsletter sign up button on the left side half way down. Free local pick up for locals and lots of "best offer" items too--don't be afraid to haggle with me just because you know me!

**My husband is not attending school this quarter and we are stunned at the time we have to hang out as a family. It's cool :)

**Night Writers (the writing group I go to) is producing its first publication; a year book of sorts that will include writing of many genres from the ladies in the group. It will be finished this week, and we are having an publication reception this Saturday evening with readings by the authors, autographed copies of Night Writer's Ink and treats. If you're interested in coming, drop me a line and I'll tell you when and where!

**Facebook has sucked me in and takes up way too much of my time, but it's sure the heck fun.

**I have lots of travel planned for the summer, and I am so excited to get to see some of you! We'll be doing a six-state road trip as a family and the kids and I will be doing some flying on our own too. Raise your hand if you want postcards!

I missed the blog. It's good to be back.

First Submission

I have to share. I actually, really, actually, submitted poetry for publication for the first time since eleventh grade. And eleventh grade was quite awhile back, folks, so rusty doesn't even begin to describe the way I felt about all this yesterday as I got started.

I hemmed, I hawed. I decided against it. I talked myself into it. I put it off until the last, last, possible moment. I harassed friends and family on extremely short notice for opinions and editing advice. I literally forced myself to do this.

Why? I asked myself this as I groaned through my seventh revision in twenty-four hours. As I stared at the computer screen, toggling between fonts, I tried a tactic my mother taught me. I muttered "What's the worst possible thing that could happen if I hit the send button?" My husband replied "We could all blow up." Hmmm. Well, that brought me back down to earth.

I may have shared this before, but there is a solid steel block on my desk that my mom sent me a few years back which has this engraved into it:

What would you attempt if you knew you could not fail?

This makes me pause on a regular basis and think about whether or not I have the courage to do something that feels hard. Today, I decided that even possibly not failing, was a good enough reason to try. How will my children learn courage if they never see me try hard at something that scares the living wits out of me?

I'm not expecting to win this contest, but I am expecting it to be the first submission of many. After all my hysteria (and if you know me you know I love a good dose of hysteria in my projects), right now I just feel happy. And relieved. And accomplished. You know those writing goals I started out with after the retreat in October? I am actually making progress! How cool is that?

Hope & Misery Abound

"Victories in life come through our ability to work around and over the obstacles that cross our path. We grow stronger as we climb our own mountains." -- Marvin J. Ashton

Yes, I am still sick. This would be the misery part. I'm on antibiotics though and it's now been three weeks, so I'm hoping it clears itself up this week and leaves me able to breathe in peace!

My husband was out of town Tuesday through Friday last week at a conference for work. I missed him terribly, both because I adore him and because it was horrid trying to deal with the kids alone all week when I felt so rotten.

Tuesday I woke up and got the kids dressed and breakfasted and decided to go lie down for a bit. This was a really stupid idea, and I'm playing the sick card as an excuse for my temporarily feeble decision-making capabilities.

When I got up, refreshed and feeling positive about my ability to handle the week with the kids, I first encountered a strong smell. It was not an unpleasant smell, but if I could smell it through this massive head cold then you know it had some serious power behind it. It smelled like . . . barbecue . . .

I was then confronted with my small son, slathered in something frighteningly thick and brown from fingers to wrists and looking like a little ghost--caked in a white powdery substance from the neck up. Then I saw the living room and I was not well pleased. My delightfully creative children decided to give themselves and the house a . . . spice rub.

The main ingredient was this, which is one of my favorite things to add to chili. This was the brown stuff Bear had on his hands. His head was covered in a mixture of cream of tartar and powdered sugar and dampened for maximum pastiness by organic lemon-thyme cleaning spray. Floors, walls, furniture and accessories, all "rubbed".

I thought about taking photos, but frankly I was too sick to do more than send Princess to her room while I gave Bear a bath and then baby-gated him into the hall while I spent 2 hours cleaning. I did get Princess out for the last half hour and have her help me vacuum and scrub, but most of it was too much of a mess for little hands to be of much use. Everything cleaned up fine except for the ottoman which I think is a lost cause. They used it as a palette and it had the hickory salt, cream of tartar and curry powder ground into it. We're going to smell like a smokehouse for months.

Now for the hope part. October is almost over and I am busy, despite the illness trying to get ready for November which brings the beginning of NaNoWriMo and CU lecture writing, Thanksgiving, my sister's birthday, the holiday selling season on eBay and the start of my own holiday prep list (which promises to be as lengthy and glorious as it always is).

Call me an optimist (or totally unrealistic), but I'm excited about everything I plan to pack into the last couple months of 2008! I love the holidays that are part of this time of year and the busyness that accompanies them, and I have hope that I'll manage to accomplish enough of what I want to be pleased with the effort and the results.

Tomorrow my plans are to pull out the sewing machine and begin work on Princess' Orange-Yellow-Pink Fuzzy Spider Costume and do a lot of laundry and work more on a story called "Worry & Care" that I started two years ago. I've only got a few chapters left I think before it's done and I'd adore having it finished this week. Here is the quote from the first chapter that the title comes from. It sums up my current state of hope.

Faith is not without worry or care--faith is fear that has said a prayer.

–Author Unknown

Miss me?

Wow--8 weeks, that is crazy! I hope to never leave y'all hanging for that long again. Things have been pretty wild here. Currently I'm sick--coughing and hacking sick--and it's been a full week so I'm dreaming it'll be over soon.

Princess' party was spectacular and we had a wonderful time with the family and friends who came (and there were plenty)! The cake turned out very well, although I was sobbing and hyperventilating over it as I decorated the ladybug, and the weather was PERFECT! Thank you to all who came, and I promise that the Thank You notes are coming soon. Tiffany was the absolute lifesaver--she's a new friend that I don't know well, but I give a fair amount of credit to her for offering to help and then showing up and doing whatever needed to be done! On the way home Princess said, "Mom, it was the most stupendous party anyone has ever had!" And that's what I wanted :)

The garden has been ignored for most of the time I haven't been here. Infestations increased and it was way, way too depressing for me to deal with. The potato crop was huge (like, hundreds of potatoes) and every single potato had bugs in inside it. I do have one little pumpkin which was actually turning orange last time I looked and I will take a photo of for you this week.

Mouth healed, it's all good, and gratefully they don't grow back so I NEVER have to have it done again.

I'm writing pretty much every day, though not as many words as I'd hoped. I went last weekend, before the sickness took hold, up to the mountains to a beautiful lake to a real live writer's retreat! I met lots of amazing women, a number of whom had published actual books and learned a lot. I came home totally inspired and with some clear thoughts about directions to take my various writing endeavors. I also joined the writer's association that sponsored the event (I'm in their newly formed online chapter) and can't wait to jump into their conversations and critiques. Here are my plans:

1. I am going to keep writing fan fiction. I've met a lot of great people through reading and posting fan fiction, I still love the characters I am playing with and frankly, it's fun. It also helps me hone my writing skills for my other projects, so it's even useful.

2. I'm going to work on a couple of original fiction pieces. The story I started for NaNoWriMo last year, and the one I am starting in a couple weeks for this year's contest. I may need significant encouragement on these, so please poke me now and again about them, okay? I do want them published eventually (I think), but first I want to actually complete a novel-length work of totally original fiction. Wow. I said it out loud.

3. You've heard me moan about poetry some and I've decided to do something about it. I'm taking down everything I've posted online (so read fast if you want to take a look), investigating previously published markets for that stuff and writing again. I even finished a new poem and a half this week! Official publication is what I want for these babies, at least some of them, so harass me about submissions, please.

In other news, we've started kindergarten for Princess and I'm loving it! I'm officially a home schooling mama now and it's so cool. Insane, but cool.

My husband has started school again and is taking an accounting class twice a week. So far, he's scored the only perfect 100 of the class on his first test and we're all holding together on those nights when he leaves home early and gets home late.

The Bear seems less of a baby each day. He's on another teething jag and he's managed three new ones in the last week and a half. He is now an Eleven Tooth Boy with a reasonable (given my family's propensity for toddler baldness) amount of hair. His sister likes to call it silvery-gold. I just call it mama-melting. He makes me laugh a lot and it's weird because he's almost a carbon copy of me at this age and some days I get this weird deja vu feeling--like I am actually looking at myself.

Galactastic!

Well, my mom's visit was great and Bear's party was as perfect as a party can get. I actually got everything done on my party to do list, my family was a great help with the slave labor aspects of the celebration and Baby Bear absolutely loved having the house filled with people who loved him! Frankly, I did too :) I managed to put together a scrapbook (my first clumsy attempt ever) of Bear's first year and I really like how it turned out. Here is the moon and stars cake I made (blueberry moon and strawberry stars). Stressful to make, but I'm quite proud of it now that it is all over!

Mom helped with some garden stuff and I have corn and peppers and amazing things out there right now folks--I'll take you some new photos this week!

Bear's been most happy the last few days because Saturday we took the baby gates down and he is now allowed to roam the ranch. This has resulted in taking Oscar the garbage can out to the garage to keep him out of it (the lid was no deterrent), replacing the spices back in the cupboard 4 times, putting the dishtowels back in the drawer 3 times (after removing the child from drawer), and being puzzled by the fact that the kitchen drawer latches that STILL keep his sister out of the butter knives are apparently useless in keeping him out of the butter knives. The kid has a long reach.

Last night I posted my first fanfic chapter since January! Yeah me! Close to 1800 words, so a little smaller than most, but it felt great and I was happy with it. I also have chapter eleven done and am started on chapter twelve. Maybe I can get back into the writing and reviewing groove and that will motivate me to work on more of my completely original fiction. I am plotting in my head for this year's NaNoWriMo. Or maybe even some new poetry, although I continue to feel unsettled about that these days. Should I try to be famous or just connect with the masses . . . that is the eternal question for me & poetry.

Today I was chewing pizza at lunch and I heard a loud cracking sound and a shooting pain in my jaw. I can't think this is good. Back to Dr. Oral-Maxillofacial Surgeon on Thursday. Yuck.

Just fed Baby Bear lunch, or tried to, and got some classic "asleep in food" photos! He didn't wake up when I reclined the highchair, or when I washed his face, or when I scrubbed the Zwieback toast off his hands. Poor tired baby! He is trying so hard to get his teeth and it's wearing him out.

Getting ready for the Night Writer's HFPE group meeting tomorrow and I almost have things together. Each meeting we have a quote for inspiration/discussion, a writing exercise to do at the meeting and share, and a writing exercise on a 4x6 card that I send home with them. I started this group just before I found out I was pregnant with Baby Bear. I promptly became so sick I could not get out of bed, much less lead the group. Melynn came the rescue and took over, and under her watchful and experienced eye (she's a professional literary editor) it grew and flourished. We never discussed me "taking back" the group--in my mind it belonged to her as soon as she stepped in. We have a very talented group, with almost a dozen women now and half that many genres.

A couple months ago she told the group she wanted to change the format and was open to suggestions. I called to talk to her about it (I always have an opinion) and in the course of our conversation, she asked if I was interested in taking back over. She needed to step back, she said and so I told her I would do it. Part of me is so excited to be doing this again! I have loved participating and enjoy teaching in general and am thrilled to get to share my support and love of writing with these women that I have so much respect for. On the other hand, it's scary. I want to do right by them and provide a useful, positive outlet for them and I hope I am able to do it.

This will be my third meeting since taking over again. I think it is going well for the most part, except that last week I was 15 minutes late and we ran late, and I couldn't find the book I wanted and so was flustered when I needed to share the exercise because I didn't have the passage which explained it. I hope that they'll be patient with me and not start throwing rotten produce quite yet.

In addition to running this group, I am the group coordinator for my ward. I am still new to this, but the same sort of excitement and nerves come into play. I want to do right by the women in my ward. I want each one of them to have at least one need met through this program, which I do believe is Divinely inspired. I am still getting my feet under me, working out plans for group activities, trying to find people to lead the activities, praying a lot for inspiration. The program is pretty loosely defined in a lot of ways, so it has been a challenge to come up with parameters and purposes, but I think over all it is going well. Currently I am trying to create outlines for all the activities I want to start in 2008, considering a budget (which is currently non-existent--literally), and creating some serious advertising strategies and materials. Speaking of which, I should probably be doing that instead of this :)

End of the year...

"Along your pathway of life you will observe that you are not the only traveler. There are others who need your help. There are feet to steady, hands to grasp, minds to encourage, hearts to inspire, and souls to save." - Thomas S. Monson

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Well, I skipped November. I mean, I was here, but I didn't blog a single word because I was writing my novel. My final word count was just over 7,000 words--43,000 short of my goal. It was an interesting experiment and showed me what I can actually accomplish in terms of finding time in my schedule to write. Most days I wrote between 200 and 400 words, in 5-10 minute spurts. Not ideal, but that's what I realistically have right now.

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I've been attending a writing group twice a month with women from my church. We share favorite writing, critique each others' writing, and get writing tips and exercises from the group leader who was a professional editor until recently. The exercises have been interesting and the camaraderie has been enjoyable. In some ways it has been frustrating and in some ways is has been encouraging, but overall it has been worthwhile.

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Lately, I have been trying to decide what my writing purpose is. There are many forums and forms with which to share my writing with others via the Internet, that bypass the traditional "query/submission/rejection or acceptance" routine and I am struggling to determine what I want to do. A few summers ago I put lots of my poetry online at http://www.fictionpress.com/ and really liked making connections and having others read and enjoy (or critique) my work. Having done that though, much of that is now not likely to be accepted and printed by traditional publishers.

~

Should I go for the quick fix of sharing randomly with any of the masses I can find? Or spend years submitting and hoping for professional recognition, while the thoughts and images I wanted to share languish in a word doc in my computerized "Poetry" file? I write to connect with others, not just for myself . . . there are few (if any) of my poems that are not meant to be read by someone else.

~

Would I like to be famous? Well, yes. Am I willing to imprison my poetry for decades in hopes that I'll get noticed and it will happen? I'm just not sure. Votes?

Writing notes, I'm sick, Recipe

Last night I went to my writing group and we had some great conversation. I told them about NaNoWriMo and they were all supportive. We reviewed and critiqued the work of one of the women for the first time and it was great - the piece and the discussion. I love critiquing/editing/helping to make stuff better.
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I got my first real taste of this when I helped others edit their fanfiction in a process called "beta-ing". This is really just having someone read and review your writing, but they call it this in the fanfiction world. I love doing it for others and having others do it for me. Even when I've written something I think is good, the chance to make it better is both challenging and exciting to me. I think one of the things about NaNoWriMo that will be most insanity provoking for me is the no editing thing. To have no time for clean-up or meaningful feedback might push me over the edge.
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I got a few ideas on the drive home - yeah! I think I have decided on my heroine's name - one I thought I made up, but apparently someone else did too as there is a dragon drawing by that name at Elfwood.com. Anyway, I am going to try and write the required number of words everyday between now and the 1st, to see if I can get myself used to it. Not on The Novel of course, but this and other stuff.
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I am sick. Sniffling, sneezing, coughing, stuffy-head, nasty cold sick. I thought I was better, but then yesterday it hit me again with a vengeance. The rest of the family seems fine - thank heavens - but I am wishing for a nice, warm, dark cave to crawl into for a few days. Instead I have 4am feedings and a 4 year old who wakes up at the crack of dawn, followed by her baby brother. Please, let them not get sick. I don't think I could handle it this week.
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I do have to say how appreciative I am that they wake up exuberantly - it's hard to be unhappy, regardless of how I feel physically, when I am awoken by two blissfully cheerful cherubs. Even with the hard moments, I truly do delight in my children. I can't imagine a better thing than having them.
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Allie asked for the Overnight Butterscotch Buns recipe, so I thought I'd share it with everyone. It has a different actual name, that is just what I call them.

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BUTTERSCOTCH BUNDT PAN ROLLS
Julie Badger
Meridian Magazine
Easter 2005

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18 to 20 Rhodes frozen rolls
1 (3 oz.) pkg. butterscotch pudding (not instant)
1/2 cup brown sugar
1/2 cup chopped pecans
1/2 cup melted butter

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Arrange frozen rolls in a greased Bundt pan. Sprinkle pudding, brown sugar and pecans over rolls. Drizzle butter over all. Cover with damp towel and let rise overnight or about 12 hours. Bake at 350 degrees for 30 minutes. Cool 10 to 20 minutes before inverting to a serving plate.

Lara's note: We have theorized that this recipe what could be made with any flavor of pudding and add-ins.