Well, I did it. A couple of weeks ago it crossed my mind to ask the owner of the dance studio that Princess goes to if she ever needed substitutes. I really am not looking to go back to teaching regularly, although I do miss it a lot, but I thought it might be a way to keep my fingers in and help pay for Princess' lessons. I put it off, partly because I am feeling a little chubbier since Baby Bear decided to stop nursing, but today, I did it.

For those of you that don't know, I took 20 years of dance classes and taught for a half dozen or so after that. I know it seems impossible looking at me now :) I love to dance and a lot of times I really miss it. I'd really like to go back to it at some point, but the time and money involved don't make it reasonable at this point in my life.

The studio is actually owned by someone I met knew of many years ago at Summer Dance Lab, the workshop I went to for four summers as a teenager. A friend from SDL teaches there as well, and it is a kind place, with good teachers.

So today, I happened to see the studio owner after classes and she asked Princess to help her by trying on some costumes they were having issues with. It was easy to work it into the ensuing conversation and so I asked her. She was enthusiastic and positive about it, and asked if I had a resume! The funny thing about that is that as an exercise for CU a few months back, I had to update a resume, and I chose my dance resume! So it's actually current for the first time in ten years, already! I still need to talk to my husband about it, still need to think on it some, but I'd love to keep my hand in dance and teaching.

When I was about seventeen, I had a choice to make. If I was going to dance professionally, I needed to start the really serious training and auditioning at that point or it would be too late. I pondered and prayed and thought about what I wanted to do with my life--what deep down in my soul I wanted. I wanted a certain kind of life beyond the stage, a kind of life that is virtually impossible for a professional dancer, especially a ballerina. So I kept dancing, but I stopped training. And even though there were moments when I thought that putting aside that dream was literally going to kill me because it hurt so much, I knew in my gut that it was right.

I have that life that I wanted. What I want has changed a little over the years, but I'm content--more than most I think. Nothing is perfect, but I am so blessed and so grateful for my husband and my children and all the things that I "do" like writing and reading and church stuff and my millions of little hobbies.

I don't want Princess to dance for me. I don't want to live my life through her--I'm still living my life and I don't need anyone to do it for me. I want her to dance as long as it brings her joy. That's ultimately why I'd like to teach dance again. Sharing my adoration, teaching others to feel comfortable in their bodies and love this art form too is an aspect of ballet that brings me a lot of joy. So we'll see. Maybe this is an opportunity whose time has come.