Time flies...

Where did June go?

We've spent a lot of time in the garden. We picked out first 3 strawberries this morning. One even looked like it could have come from the store! we have tiny pea pods, tiny green tomatoes and microscopic zucchini. The flowers are awesome this year--or at least more awesome than I've been able to make happen in the past--so if you live near me you might find some on your doorstep! I finally got the herb bed dealt with as well and while my purple basil died, my neighbor gave me some great plants and I have an amazing lime oregano and pineapple sage! Pineapple sage actually smells like pineapple! I'll post the before and after photos next time.
Princess had her first real dance recital this week. The wore a white satin and sequined tutu and had a great time! I had a fiasco while trying to shop locally and order new tights so she wore the old ones with a huge black (irremovable) spot on the knee. We took dinner to the studio staff for the dress rehearsal and that was fun. Tuscan Chicken Salad, fruit salad, fresh rustic bread from Costco, chocolate and lemon-strawberry cupcakes Princess helped make and mints to deal with the after effects of the garlicky meal. Princess played hostess and gave everyone mints and drinks and it was cute. She performed Thursday and the show went smoothly and was lots of fun (even though we were close to late because I lost the tickets--a nice man let us in anyway thank heavens). Friday night I went to help backstage during the show since I didn't want to miss seeing Princess on Thursday but still wanted to help. The most polite thing I can say about that experience is that is didn't kill me. I frankly have no clue how the Gosselins manage six 3-year-olds . . . but it wasn't (as usual) the kids that were really the problem. My friend Joan P. came to see the show and I really enjoyed having her there. Bear slept for that last hour but really seemed to enjoy it until we hit bedtime. No screaming and no removing him though! How's that for a miracle?!

I love my new massage therapist and finally am making really good progress again! She has two kids about the ages of mine, and she's good at her job and a lovely commiserator and problem solver when it comes to parenting. Some people prefer silent massages--I've been blessed with MTs who like to talk as much as I do and we have a ton of fun! I leave feeling physically better and mentally refreshed. Maybe after I finish the treatments (probably before the summer is out) we can meet at the park with our kids!

Father's Day was pretty mellow. My husband got cards from me, the kids and the cat, pajamas (his request), and photos of me with the kids. I voluntarily get photographed maybe twice a year. Christmas with the whole family and Father's Day with the kids for my husband. This year my quota is already filled because of the 4-generation photos we took in Boise with my mom and grandma, so if I'm going to be in the Christmas card I'll need to buck up once more.

Baby bear has been growing like crazy. He has 8 teeth and is working on more, is walking by himself a good 6 steps at a time, has massively increased his hair output and had his first all-kid food meal for lunch today! Sliced penne noodles (so they look like cheerios), mozzarella cheese and peaches. He thought it was quite novel and ate a lot once I took the way-more-fun-than-eating bowl away from him.

Bear has also managed to tear down the horrid vertical blinds in the living room and escape repeatedly. This has caused us to get new blinds that we can actually raise high enough for him to not destroy and rearrange the baby gate configuration. I was not happy I was going to need to buy more and then the same day I was going to go get them, a lady posted on freecycle that she was giving away the exact gate I needed in the exact size I needed!!! When I emailed her she had offered it to someone else and I was sad, but then she sent me back a note saying the other person had declined! So I got a brand new one of these for free! This has allowed us a safe place for the Bear again since we have enough gates to block off both exits from the living room now.

This week Princess started swimming lessons! She's like a little fish and just loving it. She's going to the city pool twice a week in the morning and is in a class with about six other kids. Bear and I sit and watch--he's fascinated and sleepy from the heat so he's quiet. I look over my list for the day and smile, wave and give the thumbs up sign as needed.

Yesterday we went to a local historical working farm for an arts, crafts and animal feeding class for Princess. It was a gorgeous day and they had peacocks roaming the grounds and Bear and I just walked (yes he walked a lot of it) and enjoyed the sun while Princess did her thing. There was this amazing white peacock trying to dig herself a shady hole in the ground. Weirdest thing I've seen in awhile--it looked like a cat wanting its tummy rubbed!
We've also made Jell-O jigglers, toilet paper butterflies, tried out a local church playgroup, been to the library a lot, played a lot of dress up, and enjoyed our brief moments of sunshine. All in all, it has been a busy and lovely month!

Well, I did it. A couple of weeks ago it crossed my mind to ask the owner of the dance studio that Princess goes to if she ever needed substitutes. I really am not looking to go back to teaching regularly, although I do miss it a lot, but I thought it might be a way to keep my fingers in and help pay for Princess' lessons. I put it off, partly because I am feeling a little chubbier since Baby Bear decided to stop nursing, but today, I did it.

For those of you that don't know, I took 20 years of dance classes and taught for a half dozen or so after that. I know it seems impossible looking at me now :) I love to dance and a lot of times I really miss it. I'd really like to go back to it at some point, but the time and money involved don't make it reasonable at this point in my life.

The studio is actually owned by someone I met knew of many years ago at Summer Dance Lab, the workshop I went to for four summers as a teenager. A friend from SDL teaches there as well, and it is a kind place, with good teachers.

So today, I happened to see the studio owner after classes and she asked Princess to help her by trying on some costumes they were having issues with. It was easy to work it into the ensuing conversation and so I asked her. She was enthusiastic and positive about it, and asked if I had a resume! The funny thing about that is that as an exercise for CU a few months back, I had to update a resume, and I chose my dance resume! So it's actually current for the first time in ten years, already! I still need to talk to my husband about it, still need to think on it some, but I'd love to keep my hand in dance and teaching.

When I was about seventeen, I had a choice to make. If I was going to dance professionally, I needed to start the really serious training and auditioning at that point or it would be too late. I pondered and prayed and thought about what I wanted to do with my life--what deep down in my soul I wanted. I wanted a certain kind of life beyond the stage, a kind of life that is virtually impossible for a professional dancer, especially a ballerina. So I kept dancing, but I stopped training. And even though there were moments when I thought that putting aside that dream was literally going to kill me because it hurt so much, I knew in my gut that it was right.

I have that life that I wanted. What I want has changed a little over the years, but I'm content--more than most I think. Nothing is perfect, but I am so blessed and so grateful for my husband and my children and all the things that I "do" like writing and reading and church stuff and my millions of little hobbies.

I don't want Princess to dance for me. I don't want to live my life through her--I'm still living my life and I don't need anyone to do it for me. I want her to dance as long as it brings her joy. That's ultimately why I'd like to teach dance again. Sharing my adoration, teaching others to feel comfortable in their bodies and love this art form too is an aspect of ballet that brings me a lot of joy. So we'll see. Maybe this is an opportunity whose time has come.