Wednesday, December 31, 2008

First Submission

I have to share. I actually, really, actually, submitted poetry for publication for the first time since eleventh grade. And eleventh grade was quite awhile back, folks, so rusty doesn't even begin to describe the way I felt about all this yesterday as I got started.

I hemmed, I hawed. I decided against it. I talked myself into it. I put it off until the last, last, possible moment. I harassed friends and family on extremely short notice for opinions and editing advice. I literally forced myself to do this.

Why? I asked myself this as I groaned through my seventh revision in twenty-four hours. As I stared at the computer screen, toggling between fonts, I tried a tactic my mother taught me. I muttered "What's the worst possible thing that could happen if I hit the send button?" My husband replied "We could all blow up." Hmmm. Well, that brought me back down to earth.

I may have shared this before, but there is a solid steel block on my desk that my mom sent me a few years back which has this engraved into it:

What would you attempt if you knew you could not fail?

This makes me pause on a regular basis and think about whether or not I have the courage to do something that feels hard. Today, I decided that even possibly not failing, was a good enough reason to try. How will my children learn courage if they never see me try hard at something that scares the living wits out of me?

I'm not expecting to win this contest, but I am expecting it to be the first submission of many. After all my hysteria (and if you know me you know I love a good dose of hysteria in my projects), right now I just feel happy. And relieved. And accomplished. You know those writing goals I started out with after the retreat in October? I am actually making progress! How cool is that?

15 comments:

earwaxtasteslikecrayons said...

SO cool. Go, Lara!

Wendy

Mom of 5 Gents said...

Congratulations!! You're a big winner in my book for having the courage to push the send button. Woo-hoo!!! I'm so happy for you!

Mom of 3 Boys said...

I am so proud of you! Way to go!

Lara said...

*****Thanks Constance & Cynthia :) You two are such great, supportive friends and I appreciate you!

GoofyJ said...

YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY!!!!!! I got so excited I started clapping at the screen. WooHoo!

texasblu said...

That's the greatest news! You're on your way, baby!!!

And glad to hear your Christmas was magical! Truffles sound fabulous!

La Mujer Loca said...

Yeehaw! We can all relate. Hoping to make our writing goals come true THIS year.

ANWA Chick

Lara said...

*****Thanks Wendy, Julia, Steph & Aine for the encouragement is much appreciated! I am so glad to know you ladies!

*WinterOne said...

Yay! Go you! And LOL I like the way your hubby thinks.

Lara said...

*****Thanks :) I like the way he thinks too :)

Jeremy Saunders said...

Lara, I would love to read it! I am glad you did it! Yeah! You know, I love this quote: "You miss 100% of the shots you don't take." So GO FOR IT! It takes a lot of "shots" before one goes in. Spoken like a true soccer mom, sorry!
MImi

texasblu said...

Hey Lara, I have tagged you! :)

Darlene said...

I'm really glad you entered.

texasblu said...

The tag is here:

http://texasblu3.blogspot.com/2009/02/spreading-write-kind-of-love.html

that was just a list of memories. :)

amber said...

Hey, I found your blog on Francys' blog! And I just loved hearing you speak about your adventure writing the piece, let alone your work itself. you sound wonderful. If you don't win, I at least found someone who can put emotion to words so eloquently. You're a winner in my eyes. Keep it up, you're great at it!