Falling Short

You are successful the moment you start moving toward a worthwhile goal. - Chuck Carlson

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So, it's been a couple weeks since I wrote, and I'm trying not to beat myself for flaking out. I'm trying really hard right now to figure out the juggling act that is parenting 2 kids and running my house and doing stuff I like to do. I'd gotten into a good groove just before Baby Bear was born, and now I feel overwhelmed and struggling again.

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Physically I feel great (except for lack of sleep), but the day to day stuff is driving me nuts. You've seen one of my "to-do" lists, and I know that I can be a little...ambitious when it comes to deciding what needs to happen in my life. At this point, I'm attempting to look at what is really important to me - what HAS to happen each day - and, well, shorten the list.

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To me, shortening the list feels like falling down on the job. It feels like watching a ball you only took your eye off for a millisecond drift out to sea, knowing you'll probably never hold it again. If I take it off the list, will I ever be able to justify the luxury of putting it back on?

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I wish I could do more. I wish there were more hours in the day. Last night, Princess & I were cuddling on the couch for a bit after Baby Bear fell asleep and she said to me in this adorable, drowsy, 4-year-old voice: "I wish I never had to take time to sleep". I know the feeling.