"I urge you to examine your life. Determine where you are and what you need to do to be the kind of person you want to be. Create inspiring, noble, and righteous goals that fire your imagination and create excitement in your heart. And then keep your eye on them. Work consistently towards achieving them."
- Joseph B. Wirthlin

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With the new year comes the pressure to figure out how to make something more of oneself. As usual, I've fallen for the lure of a little more personal perfection than I currently possess and have outlined a few things to work on in 2008. So far I am doing good, but Mondays always bring an opportunity for me to fall off of my forward-moving wagon of hope, so here's a little concrete reminder to myself. Plus, the NaNoWriMo people subscribe to telling as many people as possible about a goal so that you are far too deep to back out without basically letting everyone know your a big 'ol quitter-roo. Even though I didn't win this year, I learned a ton about moving forward with monumental tasks.

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For starters, one of my CU goals is to "Develop a wellness program for yourself and maintain your schedule for three weeks". My current "wellness plan" consists of 1) Going for a walk 5 days a week, 2) No snacking after 10pm, 3) No skipping meals or snacks 4) Take my vitamins every day, 5) Feed the baby at midnight and actually go to sleep after that. I did great last week, 100% on #1 & #4!

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Next up is to keep a tidy home. Things have been so out of control during my periods of illness in the last few years and I really want a place that can be a refuge from the cares of the world. A place where anytime the fancy strikes me I can invite others in or over without fear they'll break a leg or feel the need to call the CDC.

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Last (for today, since I have ten million things to do), is that I really want to cut our food bills by about half, with 25% of that cut coming from our very own garden. Yesterday I found this site, and it lists a whole bunch of winter crops that can be grown in this area, so I hope to be able to have enough to can/preserve from the warm weather as well as plant cold weather stuff for year round productivity.

End of the year...

"Along your pathway of life you will observe that you are not the only traveler. There are others who need your help. There are feet to steady, hands to grasp, minds to encourage, hearts to inspire, and souls to save." - Thomas S. Monson

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Well, I skipped November. I mean, I was here, but I didn't blog a single word because I was writing my novel. My final word count was just over 7,000 words--43,000 short of my goal. It was an interesting experiment and showed me what I can actually accomplish in terms of finding time in my schedule to write. Most days I wrote between 200 and 400 words, in 5-10 minute spurts. Not ideal, but that's what I realistically have right now.

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I've been attending a writing group twice a month with women from my church. We share favorite writing, critique each others' writing, and get writing tips and exercises from the group leader who was a professional editor until recently. The exercises have been interesting and the camaraderie has been enjoyable. In some ways it has been frustrating and in some ways is has been encouraging, but overall it has been worthwhile.

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Lately, I have been trying to decide what my writing purpose is. There are many forums and forms with which to share my writing with others via the Internet, that bypass the traditional "query/submission/rejection or acceptance" routine and I am struggling to determine what I want to do. A few summers ago I put lots of my poetry online at http://www.fictionpress.com/ and really liked making connections and having others read and enjoy (or critique) my work. Having done that though, much of that is now not likely to be accepted and printed by traditional publishers.

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Should I go for the quick fix of sharing randomly with any of the masses I can find? Or spend years submitting and hoping for professional recognition, while the thoughts and images I wanted to share languish in a word doc in my computerized "Poetry" file? I write to connect with others, not just for myself . . . there are few (if any) of my poems that are not meant to be read by someone else.

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Would I like to be famous? Well, yes. Am I willing to imprison my poetry for decades in hopes that I'll get noticed and it will happen? I'm just not sure. Votes?

Writing notes, I'm sick, Recipe

Last night I went to my writing group and we had some great conversation. I told them about NaNoWriMo and they were all supportive. We reviewed and critiqued the work of one of the women for the first time and it was great - the piece and the discussion. I love critiquing/editing/helping to make stuff better.
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I got my first real taste of this when I helped others edit their fanfiction in a process called "beta-ing". This is really just having someone read and review your writing, but they call it this in the fanfiction world. I love doing it for others and having others do it for me. Even when I've written something I think is good, the chance to make it better is both challenging and exciting to me. I think one of the things about NaNoWriMo that will be most insanity provoking for me is the no editing thing. To have no time for clean-up or meaningful feedback might push me over the edge.
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I got a few ideas on the drive home - yeah! I think I have decided on my heroine's name - one I thought I made up, but apparently someone else did too as there is a dragon drawing by that name at Elfwood.com. Anyway, I am going to try and write the required number of words everyday between now and the 1st, to see if I can get myself used to it. Not on The Novel of course, but this and other stuff.
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I am sick. Sniffling, sneezing, coughing, stuffy-head, nasty cold sick. I thought I was better, but then yesterday it hit me again with a vengeance. The rest of the family seems fine - thank heavens - but I am wishing for a nice, warm, dark cave to crawl into for a few days. Instead I have 4am feedings and a 4 year old who wakes up at the crack of dawn, followed by her baby brother. Please, let them not get sick. I don't think I could handle it this week.
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I do have to say how appreciative I am that they wake up exuberantly - it's hard to be unhappy, regardless of how I feel physically, when I am awoken by two blissfully cheerful cherubs. Even with the hard moments, I truly do delight in my children. I can't imagine a better thing than having them.
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Allie asked for the Overnight Butterscotch Buns recipe, so I thought I'd share it with everyone. It has a different actual name, that is just what I call them.

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BUTTERSCOTCH BUNDT PAN ROLLS
Julie Badger
Meridian Magazine
Easter 2005

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18 to 20 Rhodes frozen rolls
1 (3 oz.) pkg. butterscotch pudding (not instant)
1/2 cup brown sugar
1/2 cup chopped pecans
1/2 cup melted butter

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Arrange frozen rolls in a greased Bundt pan. Sprinkle pudding, brown sugar and pecans over rolls. Drizzle butter over all. Cover with damp towel and let rise overnight or about 12 hours. Bake at 350 degrees for 30 minutes. Cool 10 to 20 minutes before inverting to a serving plate.

Lara's note: We have theorized that this recipe what could be made with any flavor of pudding and add-ins.

The person who says it cannot be done

should not interrupt the person who is doing it.

- Chinese Proverb

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Writing 50,000 words in 30 days has been on my mind a lot, especially the breakdown. It's Twelve and a half thousand words a week. That sounds like a large number of words to me. When it's broken down by day, it's about 1786 words per day. That seems do-able I think. This morning I started working an idea out in my head... and trying to decide when I will find time for these 1786 words in my daily schedule!

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My biggest concern there is that we have company coming for Baby Bear's blessing Oct 30-Nov 6. Both my mother and my mother-in-law will be here... and I may find it difficult to entertain and write my 1786. And if I skip the first week I'd never catch up.

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I think I'll head in the fantasy direction... romance and good verses evil included of course. I have to write something that I am actually interested in reading. Considering character names. I have a handful of good heroine names to choose from that I've created for my WoW characters, but no hero name list. My husband has a few interestingly named characters, but none that I adore. Clearly I have a some prep I can do.

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Are real writers banned from using emoticons? Does it show a lack of literary intelligence that sometimes I just feel like the only way I can express myself is with a little face made from a parethese and a colon? :)

Writing and dreaming

"Self trust is the essence of heroism"
-Ralph Waldo Emerson



Last night I dreamed about a dancing, and a friend I had when I was a teenager whose given name was Molly Shenandoah. I always loved her name and it seemed to fit her. Being a child of the 70's in a small Washington self-proclaimed hippy town, I had lots of friends with unusual names - in my 2nd grade class their were girls named Butterfly & Cinnamon and boy named Reefer (no joke). But Molly's name wasn't just unusual, it was lovely.


Molly was tall and pretty and smart. She was a great dancer and she had a boyfriend I wanted (and eventually got a half dozen years later). She was a year or two older than me, thrillingly Californian and very kind.


After she moved, we kept in touch on and off... the odd phone call and Christmas card, meeting up occasionally when she came to town. She was someone I called when I heard at 20 the devastating pronouncement from a doctor that I would never carry a child. Since proved wrong... but at the time as a young newly-wed, very much wanting a baby, I was crushed.


What she said to me was one of the most comforting things anyone said during the following 8 years of childlessness. "Some people are just meant to be mothers, and you are one of them. Somehow you'll find a way. You'll be a wonderful mother."


I dreamed we were taking a modern dance class in the gorgeous room on the top floor of the local YMCA that I taught in for a number of years. She was married and expecting a baby. We were so excited because we were again in a place where our lives matched enough that we could keep up with one another again.

Being one who believes in the power of dreams, got out of bed and Googled her :) She is married, is living in Ohio and had a baby about a year ago! Weird. She and her husband run a spicy pickle company and she works with a local group whose mission is "to educate, support and empower women as they journey through pregnancy, childbirth and the postpartum period". I think I'll write her this week. Who knows. Maybe it's our time again.


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I've joined NaNoWriMo. I'm nuts. But Allie offered home made chocolate truffles. What was I supposed to do? I have NO IDEA what to write. The quote at the beginning of this post was to remind me that I can do this and I need to trust that I can.



BTW, that old boyfriend of Molly's? The one I went out with years later? He introduced me to Allie and after a dozen years she and I are still great friends.