Hope & Misery Abound

"Victories in life come through our ability to work around and over the obstacles that cross our path. We grow stronger as we climb our own mountains." -- Marvin J. Ashton

Yes, I am still sick. This would be the misery part. I'm on antibiotics though and it's now been three weeks, so I'm hoping it clears itself up this week and leaves me able to breathe in peace!

My husband was out of town Tuesday through Friday last week at a conference for work. I missed him terribly, both because I adore him and because it was horrid trying to deal with the kids alone all week when I felt so rotten.

Tuesday I woke up and got the kids dressed and breakfasted and decided to go lie down for a bit. This was a really stupid idea, and I'm playing the sick card as an excuse for my temporarily feeble decision-making capabilities.

When I got up, refreshed and feeling positive about my ability to handle the week with the kids, I first encountered a strong smell. It was not an unpleasant smell, but if I could smell it through this massive head cold then you know it had some serious power behind it. It smelled like . . . barbecue . . .

I was then confronted with my small son, slathered in something frighteningly thick and brown from fingers to wrists and looking like a little ghost--caked in a white powdery substance from the neck up. Then I saw the living room and I was not well pleased. My delightfully creative children decided to give themselves and the house a . . . spice rub.

The main ingredient was this, which is one of my favorite things to add to chili. This was the brown stuff Bear had on his hands. His head was covered in a mixture of cream of tartar and powdered sugar and dampened for maximum pastiness by organic lemon-thyme cleaning spray. Floors, walls, furniture and accessories, all "rubbed".

I thought about taking photos, but frankly I was too sick to do more than send Princess to her room while I gave Bear a bath and then baby-gated him into the hall while I spent 2 hours cleaning. I did get Princess out for the last half hour and have her help me vacuum and scrub, but most of it was too much of a mess for little hands to be of much use. Everything cleaned up fine except for the ottoman which I think is a lost cause. They used it as a palette and it had the hickory salt, cream of tartar and curry powder ground into it. We're going to smell like a smokehouse for months.

Now for the hope part. October is almost over and I am busy, despite the illness trying to get ready for November which brings the beginning of NaNoWriMo and CU lecture writing, Thanksgiving, my sister's birthday, the holiday selling season on eBay and the start of my own holiday prep list (which promises to be as lengthy and glorious as it always is).

Call me an optimist (or totally unrealistic), but I'm excited about everything I plan to pack into the last couple months of 2008! I love the holidays that are part of this time of year and the busyness that accompanies them, and I have hope that I'll manage to accomplish enough of what I want to be pleased with the effort and the results.

Tomorrow my plans are to pull out the sewing machine and begin work on Princess' Orange-Yellow-Pink Fuzzy Spider Costume and do a lot of laundry and work more on a story called "Worry & Care" that I started two years ago. I've only got a few chapters left I think before it's done and I'd adore having it finished this week. Here is the quote from the first chapter that the title comes from. It sums up my current state of hope.

Faith is not without worry or care--faith is fear that has said a prayer.

–Author Unknown

Miss me?

Wow--8 weeks, that is crazy! I hope to never leave y'all hanging for that long again. Things have been pretty wild here. Currently I'm sick--coughing and hacking sick--and it's been a full week so I'm dreaming it'll be over soon.

Princess' party was spectacular and we had a wonderful time with the family and friends who came (and there were plenty)! The cake turned out very well, although I was sobbing and hyperventilating over it as I decorated the ladybug, and the weather was PERFECT! Thank you to all who came, and I promise that the Thank You notes are coming soon. Tiffany was the absolute lifesaver--she's a new friend that I don't know well, but I give a fair amount of credit to her for offering to help and then showing up and doing whatever needed to be done! On the way home Princess said, "Mom, it was the most stupendous party anyone has ever had!" And that's what I wanted :)

The garden has been ignored for most of the time I haven't been here. Infestations increased and it was way, way too depressing for me to deal with. The potato crop was huge (like, hundreds of potatoes) and every single potato had bugs in inside it. I do have one little pumpkin which was actually turning orange last time I looked and I will take a photo of for you this week.

Mouth healed, it's all good, and gratefully they don't grow back so I NEVER have to have it done again.

I'm writing pretty much every day, though not as many words as I'd hoped. I went last weekend, before the sickness took hold, up to the mountains to a beautiful lake to a real live writer's retreat! I met lots of amazing women, a number of whom had published actual books and learned a lot. I came home totally inspired and with some clear thoughts about directions to take my various writing endeavors. I also joined the writer's association that sponsored the event (I'm in their newly formed online chapter) and can't wait to jump into their conversations and critiques. Here are my plans:

1. I am going to keep writing fan fiction. I've met a lot of great people through reading and posting fan fiction, I still love the characters I am playing with and frankly, it's fun. It also helps me hone my writing skills for my other projects, so it's even useful.

2. I'm going to work on a couple of original fiction pieces. The story I started for NaNoWriMo last year, and the one I am starting in a couple weeks for this year's contest. I may need significant encouragement on these, so please poke me now and again about them, okay? I do want them published eventually (I think), but first I want to actually complete a novel-length work of totally original fiction. Wow. I said it out loud.

3. You've heard me moan about poetry some and I've decided to do something about it. I'm taking down everything I've posted online (so read fast if you want to take a look), investigating previously published markets for that stuff and writing again. I even finished a new poem and a half this week! Official publication is what I want for these babies, at least some of them, so harass me about submissions, please.

In other news, we've started kindergarten for Princess and I'm loving it! I'm officially a home schooling mama now and it's so cool. Insane, but cool.

My husband has started school again and is taking an accounting class twice a week. So far, he's scored the only perfect 100 of the class on his first test and we're all holding together on those nights when he leaves home early and gets home late.

The Bear seems less of a baby each day. He's on another teething jag and he's managed three new ones in the last week and a half. He is now an Eleven Tooth Boy with a reasonable (given my family's propensity for toddler baldness) amount of hair. His sister likes to call it silvery-gold. I just call it mama-melting. He makes me laugh a lot and it's weird because he's almost a carbon copy of me at this age and some days I get this weird deja vu feeling--like I am actually looking at myself.

Wednesday = Orange

Okay, so it is Thursday. I'm a day behind. Just pretend it's Wednesday. Princess is sick and so is my husband. The baby is teething and not sleeping well. I'm exhausted. But here's some orange for you.
We got these at a consignment store for Princess a couple years ago. It was just after she saw "Finding Nemo" and she didn't care that they were practically falling off. Now they fit her pretty well and she still loves them.
These are scarves that I found for Princess on eBay last year to use for creative movement. I looked for the ones that are actually supposed to be for dance classes and they were hugely expensive! These were "real" scarves and I was thrilled to get a big pile of them in all different patterns and colors for less than a dollar a piece! She loves to get them out twirl with them, and I love to watch her when she does.
I love April Cornell's kids clothing line--Cornelloki :) I got this one on eBay for summer this year.
Until Princess came along, I hadn't purchased anything orange for my home or wardrobe, well, ever. The only color I enjoy less than orange is brown. Yet I ended up with a child who adores orange and yellow. This dress is a surprise for Princess' 5th birthday, so she hasn't seen it yet. Eyelet, gorgeous brilliant orange poppies, delicate green leaves and this stunning green satin belt with a silk flower at the waist. I can't wait to see her face when she opens it!

Laugh or cry

There are days when one or the other is not enough. You must do both. Today has been one of those days. We are feeling better and so got up early, got kids and self dressed and in car and off for busy day of errands, etc. Stopped at the Baker's Breakfast Cookie outlet store to get cookies for my husband to re-stock his supply at work. I buy what they call the "uglies" which are half price.

Had to wait because office girl was late unlocking door. Parking lot had other people waiting too, so we nodded cordially as people waiting in line together tend to do. FREEZING cold by the way.

~This is the point you want to stop at if the mention if kid barf makes you nauseous~

As we are sitting patiently in the car, Princess throws up her breakfast. Gratefully it was not digested, so it only smelled like apple juice and granola bar. Clean her up. Clean car up. Throw everything in trash bags in the trunk. Make note to add Febreze and Woolite Oxyclean to emergency supplies in the trunk. Wrap her in quilt from the trunk.

Get cookies. Head toward the Costco pump station to at least get gas before heading home to wash it all. We'll be skipping dance class today I think. I momentarily wonder if this was a fluke and possibly I should simply continue with the errands so as not to throw off the rest of the week's schedule. Then I picture her upchucking in the grocery store. Or the consignment store. Or on the nice sample lady at Costco who leads our church choir. We'll be headed home after getting gas.

I turn into Costco parking lot. Baby Bear throws up his breakfast. Sadly, it was pretty digested. I peeled off his clothes, strapped him into the front seat with the seat belt (which he thought was quite novel) so I could wipe down the car seat with anti-bacterial wipes in the sub-zero weather. Re-dressed him in the spare clothes I keep in the diaper bag and stuck him back into the car-seat and headed home without the gas.

We did stop at Jack in the Box because Princess insisted only french fries would make her stomach feel better.

Sickos

Give thanks for a little and you will find a lot.

-The Hausa of Nigeria

Well, we're all sick. Me and the baby bear have the worst of it and I feel bad for him if he feels like I do which is horrible. If my throat doesn't feel better by tomorrow I think I'll be heading in to the doctor. Cough, congestion, sore throat, general misery galore here.

Last night I used another Dream Dinner - fruit & nut stuff pork roast, and added baked potatoes, green beans and pears as a side. It was pretty good, but the stuffing was a bit stronger than I liked, even with a stuffy nose. I buy Dream Dinners when they send me a $20 off coupon and have a special "chef's treat" session where they do the assembly and all you do is pick it up. That sort of seems to be contrary to their point, which is for you to come make your own meals. I use about one per week and it is so nice to have a break from prep work and thinking about what to do next. It averages out to be about $15-$20 per 6 servings from them, but they are generous in size and they feed me, my husband and Princess for two meals, which makes the alternative on days when I am busy and/or tired (fast food) close to equal or more than the cost. This way, the meal is healthier and includes good leftovers! It is an indulgence of sorts...I don't typically make meals which cost quite that much, but I'm grateful for it!

Baby Bear is crawling! He has 2 teeth! He eats people food (more than just eating me even) and today I found him pulled up to his knees on the ottoman and trying to get a foot under him to push up. Won't be long I don't think!

Princess is in a serious questioning phase. I think she asked me in excess of 400 questions yesterday and that is not meant as an exaggeration. From "What does 'we' mean?" to "what are rocks made of". It exhausts me, but it's also delightfully amazing to see what she thinks about. Her questions are a window to her brain and it's a beautiful brain indeed.

Writing notes, I'm sick, Recipe

Last night I went to my writing group and we had some great conversation. I told them about NaNoWriMo and they were all supportive. We reviewed and critiqued the work of one of the women for the first time and it was great - the piece and the discussion. I love critiquing/editing/helping to make stuff better.
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I got my first real taste of this when I helped others edit their fanfiction in a process called "beta-ing". This is really just having someone read and review your writing, but they call it this in the fanfiction world. I love doing it for others and having others do it for me. Even when I've written something I think is good, the chance to make it better is both challenging and exciting to me. I think one of the things about NaNoWriMo that will be most insanity provoking for me is the no editing thing. To have no time for clean-up or meaningful feedback might push me over the edge.
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I got a few ideas on the drive home - yeah! I think I have decided on my heroine's name - one I thought I made up, but apparently someone else did too as there is a dragon drawing by that name at Elfwood.com. Anyway, I am going to try and write the required number of words everyday between now and the 1st, to see if I can get myself used to it. Not on The Novel of course, but this and other stuff.
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I am sick. Sniffling, sneezing, coughing, stuffy-head, nasty cold sick. I thought I was better, but then yesterday it hit me again with a vengeance. The rest of the family seems fine - thank heavens - but I am wishing for a nice, warm, dark cave to crawl into for a few days. Instead I have 4am feedings and a 4 year old who wakes up at the crack of dawn, followed by her baby brother. Please, let them not get sick. I don't think I could handle it this week.
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I do have to say how appreciative I am that they wake up exuberantly - it's hard to be unhappy, regardless of how I feel physically, when I am awoken by two blissfully cheerful cherubs. Even with the hard moments, I truly do delight in my children. I can't imagine a better thing than having them.
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Allie asked for the Overnight Butterscotch Buns recipe, so I thought I'd share it with everyone. It has a different actual name, that is just what I call them.

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BUTTERSCOTCH BUNDT PAN ROLLS
Julie Badger
Meridian Magazine
Easter 2005

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18 to 20 Rhodes frozen rolls
1 (3 oz.) pkg. butterscotch pudding (not instant)
1/2 cup brown sugar
1/2 cup chopped pecans
1/2 cup melted butter

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Arrange frozen rolls in a greased Bundt pan. Sprinkle pudding, brown sugar and pecans over rolls. Drizzle butter over all. Cover with damp towel and let rise overnight or about 12 hours. Bake at 350 degrees for 30 minutes. Cool 10 to 20 minutes before inverting to a serving plate.

Lara's note: We have theorized that this recipe what could be made with any flavor of pudding and add-ins.