Saturday, January 19, 2008

Moan & Groan

It isn't the mountain ahead that wears you out - it's the grain of sand in your shoe.
-Robert Service

I'm now doing physical therapy and massage therapy twice a week to try and fix the shoulder I damaged while giving birth to Baby Bear. In addition, I am icing it twice a day and doing 15 reps each of three different exercizes, twice a day. I can't help but feel I really don't have time for all of this stuff. I am definitely overwhelmed by it. It's wrecked havoc on our schedule and my husband has about reached his limit of being able to duck out of meetings at work and drive home to watch the kids while I deal with the appointments. Add to that my job, which requires lifting, carrying and cuddling a now nore than twenty pound child . . . there is not much room for resting my shoulder.
I am trying to believe that all of this has meaning, that it will work, I will be healed and all will be well again, but mostly I feel like I'm doomed to a life of pain at this point. I want to get this healed and not hurt anymore, but it's not like I can take three months off of my life and do nothing in order to do it? So I waffle between being a faithful patient and a bad-tempered one. I am going to have to start asking for help in watching the kids while I have to be out . . . another day where I am wishing I was wonder woman.

The funny thing is that I spent years having pain in the OTHER shoulder, which has now been completely drowned out (except when the massage lady pokes at it) becuase of this one. Seems like I often get the lesson called "And You Thought It Was Bad Before" so clearly I haven't learned to be greatful enough for the blessings I have, even if I've got troubles scattered here and there as well.

Some days I can get along without hardly thinking about how much it aches, but I find I have much less patience than I'd like to in every area of my life. It's like a constant piece of sand in my shoe . . .

All done with the moaning and groaning. Onward, ever onward.

For those who will fight bravely and not yield,
there is triumphant victory over all the dark things of life.

- James Allen

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